My life and the change under way

So it has been a while since I have blogged and I feel that now is the best time. Spring is just around the corner even though we have a snowstorm coming tomorrow and is going to dump another 6- 10 inches on us (yippie---sarcasm)
My blog this time is about a gift that I gave to myself about a week ago, and that was a tattoo, this was a tattoo that I created in my head and never actually put it on paper until about a week ago and then it went right onto my body. May 4, 2010-----that will be a day that will be implanted in my memory for days to come and yes the tattoo symbolizes part of the day. My sister suffered a stroke and we did not know where our lives were heading. Thankfully almost a year later, can you believe that a whole year and my sister is alive and yes she is permanently disabled but she is here with us and her 3 boys are growing!!
Anyways the tattoo that I chose was a dragonfly. WHY? Well during the whole life changes that me and my family went through the summer of 2010, no matter what time of day it was or where I was there was always one, two and even 3 dragonfly's flying around me. At first I was really creeped out but I did my research. Dragonfly's are basically angels watching over us, they guide us onto the right path and they mean change. They bring good things and of all things they are protectors. Granted in person they don't seem to be a beautiful insect but the meaning they represent means so much more.
So a week ago I went to my tattoo artist and we sat down and he placed this very meaningful tattoo on me. I didn't cry after really seeing it, but wen I got home that night it really sunk in all the things that I myself and my family has been through and it means a great deal to me. This tattoo represents my older sister for the strength she pushed through and survived a brain hemorrhage (stroke) and it represents the changes that I am making for myself and of all things the support I have for all of those that have passed away from my life and they will always be with me over looking my right shoulder.

I do have 3 other tattoos, yet for reason I don't know if it is because I am getting older or what, but this one truly means the most to be and I am glad that it took me almost 1 year to get it inked on my body. THANK YOU ERIC!!!!

 

Oh Football Season...Not for me, well unless you are the NY Jets.

So I have never liked football, not have I ever shown any interest in the sport. I will sit in the room while the games are on, and will just stare at the score and the time left. I have no concept of how the game is played or scored or even who any of the players are. Though I was raised in a family as a Yankee fan and a Jets fan, since this is all that was allowed in our house, lol.

I am of course I die hard Yankee fan and I always will be. I of course, know the players, the game and try to watch faithfully all their games. As for the Jets, yes I am supporting them this year because they seem to be a great team this year. I have started to listen to the last few games, since we do not have cable yet, so of course it builds more anticipation!

As of right now 01/23/2010 at 6:40 the Green Bay Packers have just won the game against the Bears and are going to the Superbowl. Now waiting to see if the NY Jets are going to be joining them. So it is going to be an interesting night for many reasons! So I am going to turn the radio up and try to keep faith that the Jets will pull this through and look forward to celebrating the best damn Superbowl Party for the 2010-2011 season!!!

LET'S GO NEW YORK JETS !!!

My Song 2011

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pa14VNsdSYM

Sick and tired of this weather...literally

So here it is the last week and half of January and I am sick AGAIN! I spent the first 2 weeks of this month with laryngitis, cough and stuffy head. Now I am ending the month feeling the same?!
Why is the weather so bad to us this year? I know they are saying that 2010 was a warm year for us, that does not mean that we need to add all the snow we missed out last year to be added within the past 12 days.

On another note, things are getting put together and I think we finally have it where we want to go. We still have to see on how it looks on paper, but we are cleaning house of things that just seemed to be holding us back and well we want to make a great future for our kids. I can't believe that in 7 years my twins girls will be off to college. I best get my A$$ in gear!!

Well a short blog for today, really tired from being sick, plus went out today for a surprise "30th" for my brother-in-law today, so there were a lot of kids running around and catching up with family. On top of hearing some NOT so great news from the family. So as I get ready for bed tonight my prayers are going to be loud tonight. 2011 it's not to late!!! Help me make it great and I will make it worth your while to make sure you get the best advertisement ever for being THE GREATEST YEAR!!!

Running through...

I have a lot of things running through my mind lately. There are some things that I simply will not BLOG about because it will cause arguments, and pointing of fingers that I just right now in my life will NOT deal with anymore.
Why are there people placed on this earth to voice their opinions in others lives, when the others person life is working for them. It may not look like roses to that other person, but it is working. Then you have the other people out there that, well they have their own shit going on, but want more or the other persons life. In return, hate that person for their life and what they have?! I just don't get it. Seeing and hearing this in my life right now, I am just going to sit back and laugh. You know why?? I am not going to deal with any of it anymore. I am a changed person and if things happen that are beyond my control, then so be it. I was not the one that made the choice to let it happen. I have set myself on the right path and what comes along on my path, well I myself will deal with that! I am happy with my choices, are YOU??
On another note, this damn weather is starting to really piss me off. I know that I live up North and should be used to it, but as I do get older, I do notice I just don't love it anymore. Hell, my 11 year old twin girls are tired of it. So maybe somewhere along my path it will bring warmer weather to me (part of my plan, I am working on).
Since I have been back to work, my book has been placed on hold for a while. I need to put somethings into order first. My down times at work, I do search the Internet and have things going on in my head about what my future is going to be like, and who I am going to take with me and well who I am going to leave behind! Yes, I did say leave behind. In the last 5 or 6 years, my life has been a giant roller coaster ride and I am finally getting off this ride this year. I am not letting people walk over me, tell me things that they feel are right for me, lie to me, hide things from me or sugar coat things for me. I have ways to to fix all of that. I have always known the right answers for me, and always knew when I am being lied to and for crying out loud..THIS IS MY LIFE!!! I am not going to answer to anyone, anymore.

So if you are reading this and you would like to hop on this car ride with me, then so be it. I am looking for some more good friends that will be there for me no matter what. 2011 Changes are still being implemented and working towards a greater, brighter FUTURE!!!

Work week complete

So I officially started back to work on Thursday 01/12/2011. The company that hired me in May 2010 called and asked for me specifically through the temp. agency. I was pleased to hear they wanted me back for more projects, yet still on the fence because they cut the last project short because they could not afford me.
Yet, I have taken the plunge and added a 30 minute drive for the next 3-4 months. I needed to get out of the house and do something, waiting for the right phone call or the right job was not going to be knocking at my doorstep and I am not going to mess any of this up. I have told the staffing company that they are to continue to look for work for me, while I am doing this short term temp work, so that when it does end, I will have something to fall back onto. That way it does not leave my family short, as it did in the past.

Yet, I love the work that I do, the company I work for and the people I work with. They are all helpful and very nice to me. I have worked some odd jobs since the last time I worked there, and I can honestly say not one place I have worked since then has the customer service, the friends that come out of it and the overall experience has left me to really want to stay with the company.

I know it has been only 2 days of me working back at Sixnet, but I love doing the work that I do. Working on a major accounting software, data entry, solving problems, and helping fellow co-workers with their projects. I am a go-getter, and customer oriented in all that I do. It is in my blood, it is not something you learn one day, and I am thankful that I have this special trait. For the simple fact that no one can take it away from me.

So for 2011, the first few weeks were shaky, yet I have my head on straight. My partner in crime, well as for him right now, he is in the doghouse after the news that he told me this morning. Yes, he messed part of our plan up already and I am going to have to see if this is something I can recover, or if we are going to see if we will sink or try to hang on and swim over the next few weeks.

Either way, I AM HAPPY! I may not have the greatest car, the biggest house, the toys, or even the nice things in life (ex: new wardrobe, manicures, haircut) but I can honestly say I am happy. Yes I am crying as I write this, but they are happy tears, all because I know I made this decision and I will continue to make the decision for my future and in turn will make my life happier and more secure for my twin girls future!!

Sick...still

Doctors are great people to help us when we just not feeling like ourselves. Yet, when we are sick with what seems like a cold, they prescribe over the counter medicines and charge us $200 for an office visit. How the hell does that help you??
I had gone to the doctor a few days ago to be told I have a cold and to treat it wit over the counter medicines and to drink plenty of liquids. And my other half was told the same yet was told that he was on the verge of developing full blown bronchitis. Does this fall under suit, that if I do develop the bronchitis that it is Mal-Practice??? Can I go back and get a refund for my insurance and tell them they never offered me any true service?
I am glad that I am mom, and I have learned some tricks of my own and some passed down to me from my mom. Nothing like taking some really strong over the counter medication that for me, truly knocked me out last night that I don't remember a thing. Then the good thing of drinking warm fluids, such as hot tea and a teaspoon of honey always seems to smooth my harsh throat.
As for the laryngitis fix, I have yet to fight a cure for that, except for keeping my mouth shut and letting my voice box rest for a few days.
So if I were you, look at all possible "cold" symptoms and if they are not what you or another person have ever experienced before then go see a professional. Though if you feel that over the counter meds could cure it, and maybe you can try it for a few days, save your insurance and yourself some time and money and try that first.

Sorry I had to vent a bit, it upsets me to see how much these doctors can get away with in times that are rough for some. They have their nice cars and nice houses, while some of us are struggling to make it work and when we do get sick, that it still money out of our pockets when we can get the right medication and be right back to work.

Happy Birthday to my Best Friend

So today is my love of my life's birthday. He has increased in numbers yet still a kid at heart. I honestly think this is why I love him more and more each day. Can you believe that we have been together for 13 years and we have been married for 12 years THIS year?!?! I remember it like it was yesterday. You know what? I would not change one single thing about it. My husband has had his share fair of ups and downs on his own, then he met me and WOW, what a roller coaster ride it has been.LOL. I am blessed to be sharing his birthday with him and his beautiful girls, that he has help me to teach, love and enjoy life.
I love my husband more and more each day. We may not have the nicest car, or that big house, or even the best jobs. You know what though? We have each other and we honestly love one another more and more each day. We have had our arguments, fist fights, and even a small separation at one point. Yet through it all, we loved one another so much that we always came back and just made it a stronger bond.
So today 01/04/2011...Robert I love you so much, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you! May you have many more, and may all your wishes come true.
Love,
Your Wife :-)

New Changes ahead: 2011

New Changes ahead: 2011: "Some of us have already started our New Year's Resolution, while others have not even thought of what they are going to change or even do in..."

2011

Some of us have already started our New Year's Resolution, while others have not even thought of what they are going to change or even do in this new year. I feel that 2010 was by far the worst year I have ever encountered. Thinking back to a few years ago when I lost loved ones, lost good jobs, and small things happened to me or my family. Such as in 2006, I closed a family business and thought that was a tough year. Only to be faced with a year of 2010.
The year 2010 did not start out as any other year, we were moving into a new place with the hopes of a new beginning and new dreams. It almost felt surreal to even think that things that took place in 2010 truly did not happen. Unfortunately, they have and 2011 is the time for change and a time for new beginnings!
We moved in February 2010 to a town of new dreams, only to get crushed as the weeks the by. My daughters celebrated their 11th birthday in May of 2010, surrounded by our entire family at our new place. It was like things were going right for once. My eldest sister had given birth to her new son 1 month early on May 3, 2010. This was great news!! I was an auntie again and our family was growing.
Well this was the thought when I got the call that she had given birth and my nephew would be sharing the month of May with my twin girls. Only this time, the next day the tables had flipped and our life had now took a different path.
Only to be crushed and deeply heart broken two days after my daughters birthday party. My family was given the worst news that any family could possibly receive. My eldest sister after giving birth had suffered a brain hemorrhage (stroke) and she was being rushed to the best hospital in NYS. To hear this news, was by far the worst thing I was faced with. Our family struggled to keep things together for the next hours, days, weeks, and eventually months. This event in 2010 has left a mark on my heart and I honestly do not think it will ever go away. So that is why after 3 months of seeing what my sister was going through I took the initiative to start writing a book about our family and the life we lived while travelling this journey with my sister.
I am happy to say that it is 01/03/2011 and my sister and newest nephew are doing great. They had a bumpy journey and we all joined them through it.
While juggling this with my family, it was the other troubles I was hiding at home I still had to face. You see I had lost my job and rent was not getting paid on time along with other bills, and in August of 2010 we were homeless.
As I type this the tears are still here along with the broken heart. I again have successfully failed as a wife, mother, sister, daughter, and friend. I could not go on. So we moved in with my parents, long enough for us to start swimming on our own again.
This is just a quick snapshot of why 2010 was by far the worst year ever. I am making the initiative to make 2011 MY YEAR! I am setting higher goals for myself that are going to be achieved and I am going to break out of my shell completely. I am going to make a bunch of new friends, and not feel sorry for myself anymore. I am me, and no one is going to rain on my parade! They can try their hardest, but I am going to just smile even bigger and keep my head held up high !!! So it is today that I open my arms wide and welcome 2011, my resolution is to be better at all that I do and to take life by the horns and just keep smiling :)